Communication is essential in any type of relationship – whether it be a friend, family member, spouse or co-worker. What you say and how you deliver your words to another person can have a positive or negative affect on them.

There are parents who will describe their children to others while in front of their children as being ‘bad’.  Often you find the child’s behavior is ‘bad’ because they’ve been program by the words being used to act in such a manner.  The child is being told he’s bad so he/she believe that’s how they should be.

While some children may truly have some behavioral issues, and need professional help labeling a child as bad can have detrimental effects on their self-image. There is a marked difference between behavior problems and a child. Nevertheless, as parents, we must be more conscious of our words when we speaking to and of our children.  We often think they’re not listening but they are little sponges soaking up everything we say and do – even when you don’t think they are attentive. 

The world alone is going to tear down our babies, so as parents and loved ones we have to be more mindful of providing them with loving, kind and peaceful words that will uplift them and challenge them to do better.  No one wants to be labeled or described as bad – even if they are – somethings just don’t need to be said that could be hurtful.  There’s an old saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. 

The same rules apply when interacting with adults. If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, use healthy words.  If you have a problem with someone and you need to communicate with them don’t attack them but humble yourself and speak soft and kind to them in order to be heard and understood.  No one will hear you if they feel they are under attack.

If you find yourself in a relationship where there’s constant name calling and belittling – be careful of this behavior because it could very well be a form of verbal abuse and that can be as damaging to a person self-esteem and self-worth as physical abuse.

The bottom line, before opening your mouth to speak to someone, think about what you want to say and check your intentions in saying it. If it’s something that will make the other feel good or something that will help mend a relationship, then speak but remember once you open your mouth and release those words into the universe – good or bad – you can’t take it back.  Your words can be forgiven but not forgotten.

So, get into the habit of uplifting those in your presence with kind words especially when it comes to children.  We never know what someone is going through or how a nice comment could make a difference to a person --- words do matter.